While my dear friend still thinks he rules the world (I rule the world by sitting on a buttwarming box!) by sitting on a small white box, I would like to introduce you to the more important things in life: cream-hunting!
I might have only one eye, but my nose still works fine, I can smell cream within a 5 mile radius! Problem is those humans won’t let me have it! There are certain ways on how to try to satisfy your craving for cream, the most common is being quicker than the staff and just licking the left over cream off the plates once the human is gone (this doesn’t work with kid’s plates though – either they licked those themselves or there is all kind of glibbery unidentifiable stuff on there as well).
If you are really cute you can of course go for the doe-eyed look and the cute meooooow while the human is still at it, this mostly works for kittens or those Persian cats. As you can see I am more of a pirate with my one-eye so this doesn’t usually go for me. Although sometimes I can pair with a doe-eyed friend who would distract the humans with her cute looks and I can get my paws on the cream – but she is kind of moody and I did recently kind of piss her off, by hinting that she had a grey hair in her fur… not that good of an idea.
Well, now I am on my own… and not really succesful in cream-hunting especially while the human is still attached to the plate.
Problem is the staff here doesn’t really play along, they give hints to the humans by telling them that I not only look like a pirate – I am a pirate – especially when it comes to cream…
Well I guess I got to go back to the plate licking once those humans are gone… too bad, I do love my cream fresh. But maybe you could visit me and treat me to a bit of fresh cream, I know the sign says “don’t feed the cat”, but I can make it look like an accident… – trust me, I’m a pirate!