When you are a guard dog, you really have to take things seriously – no fooling around, no sleeping, no! Guarding is your job and that does mean to keep every object you are supposed to guard under your watchful eyes.
I started with humans, to guard humans is kind of easy, they know how defend themselves, you just need to let them know if something is wrong or someone you don’t know is approaching. Easy – right?
Then I upgraded to ducks – well this is where it somehow went wrong – I love ducks, don’t mistake me – I do love ducks dearly! I even loved them so much that some of them might have ended up somehow between my teeth for “special protection”…
Well, next thing I knew is, I got degraded to guard rice – rice is really important to my owners – and there are many individuums who can’t keep their hands off it, ants (those midgets do bite hard – I tell ya!), mice (oh, how I hate mice – they really don’t taste good), birds – and… wind! Wind is the worst, you got to watch out constantly and I still didn’t figure how to keep rice safe from wind…
It does work if rice is still in its shells – easy to take care off as they come in bundles:
See easy – right?
But look at this:
Individual rice, you have to constantly count it, to make sure it is still all here. And then wind comes and you have to catch all the flying rice and bring it back. I don’t have trouble catching it and bringing it back, but as I want to put it back to its rice-mates it won’t leave my mouth – even worse its mates join it in my mouth! I really don’t know what to do: I mean I got in trouble for having a few ducks in my mouth per accident, but now my mouth is full with rice I don’t even want to have it there and it won’t come out, only thing that seems to help is water, but I can’t use my bowl because of all the evidence I leave in there – drowned rice, that’s not good at all! And if I leave the rice to go to the river… I don’t know then rice is alone… I really want to upgrade to another guard duty and I have to do well in this in order to do so! Next step up, I heard, would be shoes – you can’t go wrong with shoes – can you?